The Monster Is Her Boyfriend
I was told our furniture was put up for sale and I had to go open up for the person coming to get them. Reluctantly, I agreed to be at my condo by 6:00 PM for them to take a look at the furniture I had purchased with the dream of building a home; I was well past that by this point. I was surprised to see how young she was. She was about my age and if I'm not mistaken, Mexican too. It was easy to connect with her but I could tell something was wrong. She was quiet and looked like she was on the verge of tears. I asked about her life. Was she married? Did she have kids? Maybe pets? The furniture was beautiful and could be enjoyed by the family. Yes, she did have kids. No pets. Her dog had been run over by a car while she was pregnant. No to the husband.
She had found a place in a different city (out of respect, I won't say which one). She wanted to furnish her new place, make it comfortable for the kids. She was planning on leaving him after years of abuse. She had finally found the strength to do so. I gave her other decor so her new place wouldn't feel so empty. She, her parents, and I loaded everything up a few nights after our first encounter.
Abusive relationships do not solely happen to strangers, they also happen to people you love. When I first met *Susan's boyfriend, I felt uneasy around him. I couldn't figure him out. Susan seemed happy to introduce him to our group but I could tell she was disappointed by his lack of effort and enthusiasm. He seemed polite but quiet. Susan also did not seem like herself. I was surprised when he told her to "shut up". By the time I realized something was not right, it was too late.
I had planned a rare "girls' night" and when I got there, another one of our friends, told me Susan and her boyfriend were outside arguing because Susan had bought a round of drinks and he felt she cared more about her friends than him. Why? She was spending HER money on HER FRIENDS and not him. I walked outside and saw Susan standing in the gravel parking lot under the street light. I could tell she was crying while he was yelling in her face. He got close to her, his hands were in tight fists as he yelled, "Shut the fuck up." I ran over to try to get Susan and let this pathetic boy know she was not alone and she would not be spoken to like this. Soon other friends and family members came to discuss the concerns they had. Apparently, Susan's boyfriend had left her a horrible bruise on her arm. She blamed it on him accidentally pulling her jacket too rough. Her boyfriend's family called him manipulative and said he had anger issues. No one could say anything to him.
Susan began to avoid her family and friends, mostly "choosing" to spend time with his. She became scared of him and would deny any of his wrongdoings. He constantly goes through her phone. He lives off of her without helping out financially saying he had only "moved back home three months ago and it wasn't enough time to get settled" but he did contribute to the household by buying new lightbulbs. Susan, a makeup guru, stopped wearing makeup whenever she was not going out with him. He had manipulated her into believing his bullshit excuses and has completely broken her spirit. She has lost her self-respect and worse, self-love. She doesn't believe she is worthy of others loving her.
I have offered help and I would love nothing more than for Susan to be happy and in a healthy, loving relationship whether that is with herself or another person. I have been in the negative head space Susan is in. I was lucky enough to have family who loved me, made me feel whole, and supported in order to leave the toxic relationship.
Susan, if you are reading this, please know I know you more than you can imagine. You are beautiful, smart, accomplished, and very much loved by everyone in your life. You are worthy of more than insults and control. You are magic, baby. Don't ever let a man tell you otherwise.
*Obviously, this is not her real name. I did not get permission to tell this story but in a world of social media and feeling like you are not good enough, this is an important story to tell. Not everything is as it seems in a picture.
