What's Wrong With Him?

I can't tell you how many times I have been out in public with my nephew and I get questioned about him. "How old is he?" "Why isn't he walking?" "What's Wrong with him?" I have been quiet on the matter, except for those few times I have given people a piece of my mind for asking such rude questions. It was never my place to speak on what my nephew was going through. My job as an aunt to Miguelito and a sister to both Miguel, my brother, and Kristell, his wife, and my best friend, is to be supportive and advocate for them. Having a child with developmental issues, disabilities or health issues can be isolating and mentally exhausting. I wanted Kristell to join or start a mommy group in order to find support and a healthy outlet. She has finally decided to take that step and so I spoke to her a little more about it. 

Kristell Silva is 28 years old and a mother/personal assistant of two of the cutest kids. Catalina is seven years old and Miguel Angel Silva III, aka Miguelito, is two years old. 

XS: You are a stay at home mom and busy with two kids, what finally made you decide to start this mommy blog? 

KS: What has finally given me the final push and inspiration was my son's two year physica. His doctor told us it was time to get DNA and genetic testing done because he is still not walking and is also delayed with his speech. 

XS: When did you first notice Miguel was not "on track"? 

KS: At seven months I noticed Miguel would roll his eyes alot but I thought it was because he still a baby and trying to figure out eye coordination. Once he hit about 10-11 months, he wasn't as developed as his sister at that age and everyone, including his doctor, told me not to worry. Boys took a little bit longer to develop. By the time he turned one, he was not even attempting to pull himself up or take steps. 

XS: I know you were taking Miguelito to the doctor. Did your doctor address any of your concerns? 

KS: I kept asking my doctor to guide me in the right direction or suggest testing for my son. I spoke firmly and kept trying to provide the best care for my child. She finally sent me to a physical therapist. I had to push for it and I still felt my doctor wasn't doing enough and so I switched primary care physician.

XS: After switching, I still felt Miguelito was not getting aggressive enough treatment and I appreciate you switching physical therapists. We've seen some great progress in Miguelito since then but have you gotten any confirmation on his diagnosis? 

KS: Yes, he sees two physcial therapists and a speech therapist. I'm happy about that. They are so patient with him. He crawls, pulls himself up, walks holding onto a surface, he is making great progess. His doctor hasn't quite confirmed what he has. We are waiting on bloodwork and more testing to get done. 

XS: What kind of advice can you give to a parent or parents in a similar situation? 

KS: Trust your instincts. You notice something is not right and don't be scared to fight for what your child might need. If you feel a doctor is not doing enough for them, don't be scared to change. 

XS: Now that you are starting your blog what are some things followers/readers can expect to see from you? 

KS: So, I really want to make something for all moms. Maybe moms that don't have other mom friends but also for moms who have children with any type of medical issues or needs. I want to be there for them whether it is the scary phase of testing, getting lab work, MRIs, etc. I have gone through it and so I will be able to relate. 

XS: I'm not sure why but in discussions with other parents who have had children with health issues, there are, at times, feelings of shame or fear of getting judged. Which can stop parents from reaching out to others. What can you say to parents who are experiencing that? 

KS: You have to do it. It's beneficial for yourself and for your child. I was fearful because I did not want people to look at my child differently because of his walker but the all the questions are tiring. I'm exhausted from all the questions about my son and I want to finally open up about it and share his story with others. 

XS: Finally, for people who are concerned and genuinely want to be there for someone going through the same experience, what are some tactful ways of asking about a child's situation?  

KS: If you're going to ask, first of all, put yourself in the parents' shoes and don't bluntly ask, "what's wrong with your child?" or start asking about what the parent has done to try to help their child walk, talk, or whatever their challenge might be. It enrages parents who are quietly suffering inside. We yearn for our child to do all the activities "average" kids do. Asking or listing off suggestions is extremely inconsiderate because it's an awful feeling for the parent. Things like "how is he/she doing?" "How is he/she feeling?" "What is their status with their walking?" etc are polite ways of asking without coming off judgemental. 

XS: Thank you so much for opening up to me and my readers about your journey. For those who might be interested, where can they follow you and Miguelito's journey? 

KS: I'm on Instagram under kbeesilva. 

Thank you to everyone for reading this post. This hasn't been easy for the Silva family but I hope this story inpsires others to seek support if they do not have it or offer it to others who might be going through a similar situation.