Mean Girls Are Bad For You
Women do not always empower women, no matter how much the feminist in me wants to believe they do. I have experienced the most hurtful pushback in my academic and professional career from women. At times, I thought it was just my personality they did not like or the way I presented myself. I learned this was not the case. I watched as they poisoned brilliant minds, slowly and treacherously until those minds lent themselves to self-doubt. Those same women purposefully gave terrible advice or none at all. Then I thought it could be due to immaturity. University and careers can be competitive, perhaps that was it. It wasn’t.
Even now as an adult with a set career and creative goals to achieve, I have received such a cold reception into the “blogging” world. I normally wouldn’t want to write about this. It is embarrassing having to admit even as a twenty-something year old I am still treated with such pettiness, but I promised myself I would write honestly and discuss love, sex, and life’s other messes. Part of life is dealing with "mean girls." These are a type of women who will only hang around or invite you to events if it is convenient for them. They are the type to take pictures with everyone else in the group but exclude you. Why? Because you don't have enough followers, darling! Now, I am not saying they are horrible people, but even "nice" people can have shitty aspects to them.
When dealing with these types of women, you must always remember, how they treat you has no reflection on you. It is exhausting having to try to get along or start conversations with the mentality of being able to get to know them on a deeper level and all you get is a puddle of superficial thoughts. I was recently listening to one of my favorite podcasts, My Favorite Murder, and Karen said something which genuinely stuck with me. She said: (and I'm semi-paraphrasing here) "we are only here for fucking 15 minutes. You feel like you have all the time to waste on stupid bullshit, waste your time on hating yourself or hating other people... but you don't. Love the people that you love and try to do better with loving the people that you don't love."
With that being said, don't waste your time looking for validation, support, or advice from anyone who doesn't have your best interest at heart. Those are not the type of friendships you would benefit from cultivating. Certain people are toxic to your personal growth. Yes, the appeal to be friends is there but nothing more. Focus on those who nurture your spirit and ignite inspiration. Trust me, all of this won't matter ten years from now. I've said this before, no one on this earth is worth sacrificing your inner peace, sanity, or self-esteem. As for me, I will do my part to always support others, especially women, in whatever I can, even if they don't have "thousands of followers."
